How Families Enable Addiction

Drug and alcohol addiction has the ability to ruin family life from the inside out, in addition to a number of social, economic and legal issues. Though the impact on the individual and surrounding family differs with each situation, the problem does not discriminate according to race, class, or gender. In this entry, we will take a close look at some common enabling behaviors.

Financial

Any form of drug or alcohol addiction comes with a financial burden. Whether financial troubles stem from an inability to maintain employment or the diminished income due to excessive use, the problem remains the same. If an individual loses their job due to addiction, they may be required to seek financial aid from parents, siblings and friends. Though it is natural for loved ones to wish the addict success, continuing to bail them out will only serve to perpetuate the cycle.

Long story short: An addict without reason to quit using will not stop until they have one.

Silence

Some family members may enable addiction by hiding the issue from others within the family circle. A sister who is aware of her brother’s drug addiction but who neglects to inform her parents is enabling the abuse to continue. Choosing to hide or ignore the issue from those who may take action prohibits the issue from obtaining the attention in requires, but does nothing to solve the problem.

Your family member does not need time… They need HELP.

Denial

Many types of enabling are complicit or even overt and proactive, but denial is another characteristic of loved ones who enable addiction. By choosing to deny or ignore the issue, family members only fan the flames of addiction. Denial is both a trick and mechanism of the addict and/or codependents, used to divert attention from the issue at hand. 

Intervention Types

Intervention is a response to a person and situation that require exterior help. Common reasons for intervention include: extreme depression and suicidal tendencies; drug and alcohol abuse; eating disorders; and other serious life issues that pose negative influence on the individual in question. A variety of intervention strategies can be utilized, each of which we will cover in the entry below.

Emergency Intervention

A crisis or emergency intervention takes place when a person poses an immediate threat to themselves of others. This intervention type is typically performed without much planning by friends and family members. Loved ones of the subject understand the immediate danger, confront the person in a loving and time-efficient manner, and transport them to a treatment facility of hospital to begin recovery.

Family Intervention

Family interventions occur in cases where loved ones communicate their concerns to the subject in an honest and open manner. Unlike a crisis intervention, the loved ones plan exactly when, where and how to confront the individual about their behaviors. This confrontation involves communications in a loving and non-judgmental fashion, while making certain to convey a need for treatment.

Teen Intervention

Personality, maturity and age must all be taken into account when considering a teen intervention. These intervention types can prove more delicate than others due to the confrontational and rebellious nature of some adolescents. In many cases, you may consider seeking the aid of an interventionist to assist you throughout the intervention planning and implementation process to help ensure a positive experience. 

What Type of Letter to Write For An Alcohol Intervention

Alcoholism, a dependency to alcohol, is an extreme condition. For family and friends of an alcoholic, being forced to stand by and watch the individual spiral can prove quite frustrating. If you’re seeking change in the life of an alcoholic loved one in addition to yourself, an intervention may be the route for you! In this entry, we will discuss the best techniques and strategies when creating an intervention letter.

Significance

During alcohol intervention, family and friends create letters in an effort to avoid chaos and excess emotion during the intervention. Without these letters, anger and frustration can quickly become a main focus; creating additional barriers on path to the main goal of the intervention: getting the alcoholic to seek treatment.

Intro

Each intervention letter consists of three parts and should not run longer than 2 pages. The introduction of your letter should communicate how much you care for the individual in question.

Body

Your letter’s body should include reasons why the individual should seek help. Cite recent instances where the alcoholic’s behaviors have hindered the life of both the alcoholic and those surrounding them.

Conclusion

Your conclusion should once again affirm your love for the alcoholic, while requesting they accept help for their affliction. A well-written letter is an essential aspect of any successful intervention.

Considerations

Prior the intervention, all participants should gather to share their letters with one another. This will help ensure fresh content, while serving as an editing platform to remove feelings of hostility, finger pointing and blame. 

What Is Your Intervention Objective?

A family requested drug intervention is a momentous step forward for friends and family seeking to address a loved one’s addiction. But before you can properly use an intervention, it is important to determine precisely what you are hoping to achieve by it.

Confrontation

Your first and main objective of the intervention should be confronting the individual whom the intervention is for in regard to their substance abuse issues. It is vital that the subject is acutely aware of the spot they have place themselves and loved ones into, and important they be made to understand the extent of their issue. Until a subject admits to their behaviors, the intervention cannot proceed.

Relationship Impact

The second intervention objective should be letting the individual know exactly how their addiction and behaviors have impacted the lives of those surrounding them. Having each participant communicate just how their life has been affected by the subject’s addiction will serve in opening the subject’s eyes to the damage inflicted.

Healing

Participants should attempt to heal their relationships with the addict. This objective is extremely important, and is recognized as a crucial step in maintaining support for the individual while communicating that their loved ones will be there for them if indeed they choose to seek help for their issues.

Solution

Of course, the real objective of any intervention is a happy outcome. Getting the subject to assume responsibility for their problems and agree to treatment is a win-win situation, and a step towards the healthy, happy life they and the family deserve.

Alcohol Intervention Guidelines

Do you have a loved one requiring treatment for alcoholism? If so, an alcohol intervention may be the road to follow. Truth be told, an intervention can be a stressful ordeal. Though you likely have reservations about confronting your loved one, it is important to take action before the issue escalates into greater risk areas.

Location, Location, Location

The proper location is essential to the success of an alcohol intervention. This spot should serve as a neutral zone for both the alcoholic and participants alike. In this way, you can effectively lessen the possibility of your loved one feeling threatened or on-guard. Plan a time when the subject is most likely to be clear headed and sober to ensure they are able to fully understand the extent of the situation at hand.

Communication

Before the intervention can begin, it is important to obtain a commitment from the alcoholic that they will listen without interruption while others are speaking. Express your concern without blame or accusation. Stick to the facts and support your claims with recent examples of how the individual’s behaviors have negatively impacted both themselves and those surrounding them.

In most cases, it’s best to write out your feelings ahead of time. It can be easy for emotions to get the best of us in stressful situations. In this way, you can communicate your concern clearly, without frustration, anger and personal attacks.

Offer Answers

After each participant has been afforded the opportunity to communicate his or her concerns, a solution must be offered. Having a treatment plan in place prior to the intervention is imperative to a safe and successful transition into recovery. If your loved one agrees to accept help, your plan must be enacted immediately to avoid delays and second thoughts.

If the individual shows hesitancy towards recovery, an ultimatum should be offered to motivate them in the right direction. Ultimatums can range from revoked financial assistance to cutting off communication completely. Please note that if you are unwilling to carry out the ultimatum, it should not be given. Empty threats will get you nowhere; causing only additional issues moving forward.

Facilitating A Group Intervention

Interventions are generally comprised by a group of family and friends with the intent to aid someone engaged in self-destructive behaviors. Though these encounters are commonly thought to be for individuals struggling with addiction and substance abuse, they can be organized around other behaviors as well.  From hoarding and eating disorders to gambling and mental health issues, interventions are able to help people accept the extent of the issue at hand, and the help being offered to combat it.

1 – Contact friends and family members of the individual for whom the intervention will be based around. This group can include anyone from co-workers to religious figures such as a priest or rabbi. Communicate your ideas surrounding the intervention with those you’d like involved to ensure that all are on board. Discuss your reasoning behind the actions being taken, along with the results you’re hoping to see.

2 – Reach out to an intervention specialist. During the intervention, your loved one may react with anger toward you and the other participants. Involving a neutral party within the circle will help defer aggression and center focus on the real issue at hand. In addition, a trained interventionist can also help organize and moderate the intervention to ensure that everything runs smoothly, and that everyone is on the same page.

3 – Determine terms within the group before the actual intervention. In order to achieve a happy outcome, most interventions will require some form of ultimatum. Enabling the addict through financial aid, shelter, or covering for them will only perpetuate the cycle of addiction and negativity. As such, the addict must understand that they will no longer be provided assistance unless they choose to seek help.

4 – Plan out a place, date and time for the intervention to be held. Ideally, you’ll want to choose a spot that is neutral to both the addict and participants such as a hotel room or friends home.

5 – Participants should each write a letter to the individual describing just how difficult it is to watch them wallow in self-destructive behaviors. Letters should cite specific examples of how the addiction has affected the participant on a personal level and how they hope the addict will seek help for their problems.

6 – Make arrangements for treatment prior to the intervention. Once the individual agrees to treatment, it’s important to enact a plan right away to avoid any second thoughts. Have your treatment facility on call, and travel arrangements ready to go.

Handling Anger From A Drug Addict – A How-To Guide

In some cases, we are not afforded a clear choice in leaving loved ones who are struggling with anger issues caused by abuse and addiction. In this entry we will offer up a few tips to help you cope with your situation.

1 – Avoid taking anything personally. Place yourself in a mindset that focuses on the present rather than allowing harsh statements or aggressive behavior destroy you. Remember to take a deep breath and remain clam. Screaming or placing blame on yourself will only escalate the drama… and you already likely have a surplus.

2 – Create a list of addresses, phone numbers and other contact information of loved ones and friends to assist you should things get out of hand. You never know when you might need them.

3 – Face the facts. The addict is not angry at something you did. They are angry at themselves. The drugs simply add to the aggression. Avoid fooling yourself into believing that time will heal the situation. It won’t. Your home isn’t going to clean itself up without a good fight… neither will an addict. Don’t let the troubles pile up.

4 – Take steps to address potential codependency issues. Though you may not have the ability to drop everything and build a spiritual practice, you can question, “What am I gaining by continuing to enable this predicament?”

5 – Focus on you! Start off slow and envision a life independent of negativity and addiction. Share your thoughts in a diary. Read a book. Do something for YOU. By engaging in activities of self-worth, you will eventually develop it.

6 – Stage a drug intervention. This will provide you with the ability to fight back against your loved one’s addiction, while offering assistance towards a healthy and happy recovery.